Update and Fund-raiser

We know that we have been doing so much fundraising, and honestly, it is incredibly difficult to ask for your help again.

 

Our biggest challenge is not loving another child or even opening our hearts and home, but is finding the finances to make this happen. The estimated cost for our adoption is $35,000. That's certainly more than we have. We know God is a faithful God, and He is guiding us as we trust in Him to provide. By God's grace we have been able to pay the initial $15,000.

 

Our paperwork has been sent to Ch*na. It is *estimated* that we will be traveling to bring our son home in May. I wish I could share the picture we have of our son, "Judah". He is beautiful. "Judah" has thalassemia. The type he has causes a life-threatening anemia that requires regular blood transfusions and extensive ongoing medical care. These extensive, lifelong blood transfusions lead to iron-overload which must be treated with chelation therapy to prevent early death from organ failure. Due to "Judah's" health we are expediting his adoption.

Our friends have put together a great fund-raiser for us. We are now selling these awesome t-shirts to help raise the funds needed to bring our son home. Every $25 donation will get you one of these tees.
Click the link below for details. You also have the option to just donate if you do not want a tee. Please pray, share, and donate if you can. Thank you.

http://www.gofundme.com/mp02qw?fb_action_ids=10205103305016093&fb_action_types=og.shares&fb_ref=fb_cr_n&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%5B1070877022937891%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.shares%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B%22fb_cr_n%22%5D

 

2-in-1 Laptop Giveaway: Help bring "Judah" home

THE WINNERS ARE:

Juley G. won the laptop. Rhenda T. won a $10 Target gift card and Tasha R. also won a $10 Target gift card.

 

A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL THAT DONATED!  WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED. AND CONGRATS TO THE WINNERS!!

We are heading back to Ch*na for another precious son! Our family is so excited!! You can read about our beautiful boy here. 
  
As we work towards bringing "Judah" home, we find ourselves very short on the funds we need to bring him home. Due to "Judah's" medical needs we are working on expediting his adoption process, and we might be heading to Ch*na sooner than later. So, we are graciously asking for your help. 
  

You can donate for a chance to win!

We are giving away a Toshiba Satellite Radius 2-in-1 with 4GB memory and 500GB hard drive.

 
We will also be drawing for a 2nd and 3rd place winner! Our two oldest decided that they wanted to help out too. They have donated their gift cards that they received for Christmas to our giveaway. The 2nd and 3rd place winners will each receive a $10 Target gift card!!

100% of the profits will be going towards bringing "Judah" home.

All entries for the drawing need to be in by Sunday, February 22, at 5 pm. We will notify the winner later that night.

 

Just click on the PayPal donate button on the right. Please specify "donation" on PayPal. You can also pay by credit card on the donate button. For those that rather not pay via the website but want to enter please contact me here.

• $ 5 for 1 entry
• $ 10 for 3 entries
• $ 25 for 10 entries
• $ 50 for 25 entries
• $100 for 60 entries

 

We will be giving an extra 5 entries if you donate and share this post. Please be sure to let me know that you shared so you can get your extra entries!

Thank you for making a difference for our family! We could not do this without the support of our friends and family!

If you are not able to financially help us at this time, that is OK, we just ask that you keep us, and "Judah" in your prayers.

And He Makes 7: adopting again

Yes, it is true. Our family is growing again!
 

We have received pre-approval to adopt a beautiful 4 year old boy from China. His advocacy name is "Judah". He has beta thalassemia major just like our daughter Ayla. He is  also blood transfusion dependent. You can learn more about thalassemia here. "Judah's" health, right now, is a big worry for us. That being said, our family is still very excited and we are really looking forward to welcoming him into our family. This is not something we have taken lightly; we have been praying for "Judah" and about adopting him for months. We are not adopting him to "save" him; that is not our job. Choosing to welcome Judah into our family is all about hope, love, family, and God.

I am not going to be sharing as much information this time around for many reasons, but I will be updating on our progress. We will not be sharing identifying pictures of our new son until he is legally ours, but I assure you he is crazy cute and has the most gorgeous eyes.

We hope to have all of our paperwork "logged in" by the end of February. Due to "Judah's" medical needs are trying really hard to get everything done quickly. Our agency and our US government have agreed that "Judah" needs to come home quickly and have agreed to help us expedite the best that they can. At this time we are not sure when we will travel, but we think it will be sometime this summer.

Now the tough part. We need to raise the remaining funds to bring "Judah" home. We have a few fundraisers planned and we will be sharing those soon.

We are so thankful for everyone that supports and loves our family. We cannot do this without all of you.

 

Happy 2nd Family Day: Aliyah

 

 

Two years ago I met my daughter for the very first time. She did not like me....

 

July 2,2012

 

but simply adored her daddy...

 

And today... today, I am her forever mama. So bittersweet.

And yes, she still adores her daddy.

 

Aliyah, you are so strong. So spunky. So smart. So full of life and love. And just beautiful inside and out.

 I will love you forever.

Happy 2nd Family Day!

Fun in the Sun

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because I love her

"What is wrong with the little one? She seems frail."

 I was a little bit surprised by the incredibly bold question, but I  replied, with a smile, "Oh, she has some medical problems,but she is making great progress."

"Really, why would you want a sick one?"

I stood there. Shocked. Hurt. Sad. My head was swirling. I looked down at my sweet girls, trying to figure out what to say.

And again she spoke, "Well at least you knew she was sick before she came home, right? That has to make things easier."

I wanted to speak, but nothing would come out. I was angry at her. I was angry at myself. I needed to say something, but my thoughts....my thoughts were all jumbled up. Trying not to cry, I left, praying my girls had not heard what had just been said.

**********************************************************************************

I have had some time to process that day, and I feel like I need to say something. I need to share what is on my heart.
 
Knowing that Ayla was sick before we brought her home, did not, and will not ever make it any easier. Ever.

There is a woman on the other side of the world, one that I do not know, but I do know her daughter...our daughter...our Ayla. There are details that I will not share. They are not my details to share. They belong to Ayla. But, I do know this, that incredibly brave woman on the other side of the world did what she thought best so her daughter could live. Because of that, Ayla is my daughter now too. There is nothing easy in knowing any of that. Nothing.

We wanted Ayla, more than anything. Sick or not sick. It did not matter. When we saw her face, we knew we were going to be a part of her story. Bringing Ayla home was something we did because of love. Love is such a powerful thing. It sure changes things.

When I look at Ayla, I do not see a diagnosis {or two or three}. I see my girl. My beautiful girl. I see grit and spunk all rolled into one. I see joy and laughter. And more strength and determination than I could ever wish to have. It is easy to love that girl.  

Loving Ayla does not make my heart hurt less. Or my fears go away. Or my anxiety lessen when we wait for test results. Knowing she is sick can be the worst feeling ever, simply because I love her. I am her mama. Being a mama means that when your child is sick you want to make them better. Being a mama means you worry. It means you are afraid sometimes. It means that you will do what it takes no matter what the cost or how it makes you feel. It means that when your child struggles, you struggle too.

 I want to take all of her heartache away. All of it. I want her to live a long healthy life. I want good things for her, just like I do for all my kids, no matter what they face in life. 

I am Ayla's mama, and because I love her, it does not make knowing any easier.

Beautiful: An update on Ayla

Since that hot day in August, when Ayla reached out for Joel, she has been a part of our family. She just fit right in.  She has been incredibly happy, joyful and all sorts of amazing.

Ayla is a true delight.

She loves to be loved and loves to give love. She adores her siblings. She talks like crazy. She always says "please" "thank you" and "bless you". She is the first to say "good morning", and greets everyone with a hug. She is sweet, and yet fierce. She has such a quiet gentle strength.

She has come a really long way. She has gained some weight and grown taller. She wears glasses now, when we can keep them on that is. She is healthier and stronger. She has a sparkle in her eyes. We still have some developmental things we are working on but she is walking now. She struggles with muscle weakness, and has some balance issues. That, along with her weight gain and growth, is what we are focusing on now. She has the will and desire to learn and do. She will try and try and try until she just can't anymore. She is determined.

Medically speaking she is doing well right now. She is getting blood transfusions every 21 days, and she seems to be "holding well" there. She is taking a daily medication to remove the extra iron in her body since she is iron overloaded. She is such a trooper and takes her medication without issue. She makes herself right at home at the "clinic" where she gets her transfusions and testing done. She loves to help the nurses. She never complains and very rarely cries. Doctors and nurses, and pokes, and MRIs, and lab work, and weigh-ins, are all a part of her life now. It is incredible to watch her be so strong. It makes me so proud, yet breaks my heart at the same time. She has every reason to be angry at this world, but she is not. She has joy.

 

God has taught me so much through this beautiful child. I know I have said that before about my other children too, and it is all true. Each one of them has taught me something. But Ayla, she has taught me the most about faith, determination, and acceptance.

Many have said that we are amazing for adopting Ayla. Let me tell you, NOTHING is further from the truth. We are not amazing. We did not rescue her or save her. That is not our job and it never will be. And if it was, we would have failed...miserably.

Ayla is the amazing one.

I struggle everyday with the emotions of having a child that is chronically ill. I struggle everyday with the fact that there is no cure. I struggle everyday with the fact that the treatment she receives causes more harmful complications, and the treatment for that causes more complications. I struggle with the fact that our other children have to deal with this too, in some way shape or form. I struggle with doctors and insurance companies. I struggle  with the fact that my sweet Ayla has to deal with this for the rest of her life, and it all just breaks my heart.  There are times when I do not want to deal. Times when I wish it could all just go away. I get selfish. I know that we asked to parent Ayla. I know that we willingly adopted her. We knew what all that would mean. We desperately prayed for her and begged God to protect her. There was nothing we desired more than for her to be home with us. And all of that is still true. Every bit of it.  And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. But that being said, it does not make the emotional side any easier. It is NEVER easy to parent a child that is "sick". Never. All of us parents, whether our children are biological or adopted, chose to be parents. Our heartache is just the same.

But, because of my heartache, I have grown and changed. God has not wasted my heartache.

Ayla has taught me more about the love of my Heavenly Father than I could ever read or imagine. She has taught me that faith can move mountains. She has taught me how to see the beauty in things that are not of this world. She has taught me how to smile, love, and forgive when every ounce of me wants to be angry, bitter, and unforgiving. She has taught me what it means to be strong when life is not fair. She has taught me to never ever give up. And so much more. She has taught me far more than I will ever teach her.

My darling Ayla, you are beautiful inside and out.

A Mother's Touch

As we started our day last Friday, I knew it would be a hard, long day. Ayla and I were headed to the "clinic" for her transfusion. She was not feeling well. She had not smiled at all that morning, and that is very unlike her. She is usually very smiley and incredibly happy. Her hemoglobin dropped to 7.9, a far cry from the 10.8 is was just a week before (we are still trying to figure this girl out- her hemoglobin tends to just drop all the sudden).

Shortly after we arrived, her transfusion had started, and then it hit.  Like a ton of bricks.  She was done.  Worn out.  Overwhelmed.  She wanted her bed.  She was tired of the nurses checking her blood pressure and temperature every 15 minutes. And tired of people smiling and waiving at her. It was unusually busy in the infusion bay, and there was lots of hospital noise...she just lost it.

The screaming and crying began. And then the hitting and hair pulling. And then the shouting, "No! Stop it!" The nurses rushed over, checking her for complications from her transfusion...only making things worse. They helped me attempt to take her for a wagon ride and then a walk to see if that would help. And again only making things worse.

I could see the stares. And hear the whispers. And one even said to me, "That girl is out of control."

I just smiled back. Secretly thanking God that I had lived through this before and that I could now keep my composure. I thanked Him for His grace and never ending love. I was wishing I could tell them my girl was not out of control....wishing I could tell them heartache my girl has been through.

The nurse quickly cleared and cleaned a private room for us. I asked for a blanket and gently laid Ayla on the floor so she could "work it out".  She laid on the floor kicking, screaming, and shouting at me- her mommy. Oh how my heart just ached for her.

Ayla has never felt the gentleness of mother's touch before when she is hurt, sick or tired, or just "done". The only thing she has known is the comfort of a crib. My touch, my voice, my kisses and hugs are foreign to her when she needs them the most. Hugs and kisses, rocking and signing are for play time only. She wanted the comfort of her bed and the quiet, dark, empty room. And as heartbreaking as that is, that is her reality...and mine.

As she screamed and cried, I laid as close to her as she would let me, and prayed. I asked God to fill in the gaps for me. Begged Him to bring my girl the comfort and love that I could not give her. I begged Him to love her for me. I did not look at her, or touch her, or even sing to her. And I wanted to so badly. I wanted to scoop her up, rock her, and love on her...I couldn't...it would only make things worse for her. So I waited.

An hour later she finally let out her last scream, and her little arm reached over and touched me. I picked her up. We rocked in the chair as she continued heave heavy sighed breaths. I was able to just love her and sing to her. I ran my hand over her hair and over her wet cheek. I dried her tears. And, soon she looked up at me, making eye contact and then put her head back down on my chest. I told her it was alright and okay to cry, and be scared, and mad. I told her that I loved her...

As heartbreaking as it all is, I was so thankful that she had the ability "to let it all out".

The nurse came back in to check on us. And I tried my best to explain to her what had happened...I did not want Ayla to carry that "out of control" label. She said she did understand. I really hope she did.

Times like we had on Friday are always hard. They are very much a part of adoption too. Our kids have been through so much heartache and loss. To just expect the love of a family to "fix it all" is not a reasonable expectation. I will gladly walk this road with my children and my God.

I am so thankful for the blessing of all of my beautiful children. I love them all so very much.

 

Psalm 86:15

But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

Thank you

 

I laid down last week to take a nap with Ayla. As I laid  next to her, feelings of joy and complete contentment just washed over me. She was really there next to me. She looked so peaceful and I was, and still am, completely and totally in love with her- my daughter.

We are not new to adoption and I can honestly say that those "love" feelings did not always come so easy with our past 2 adoptions...all of which is completely normal. This time around it all has been so different. I could not help but think about how God really lead and took care of us, and how many generous people had been a part of our "story". It is so amazing, really. I also thought about all the  hours I had laid in that very same bed, tossing and turning, worrying and praying for peace, for money, for Ayla's health. All the times I was scared. So many times the "What If's" had consumed me. What if we do not raise enough money to bring her home? What if she dies? What if I could not do "this"- parent this many kids, meet Ayla's needs, provide and love them all? What if "they" were right? What if 6 was too many?  So many had cautioned us, and asked us to really think this through -which we did. We heard words like microcephaly, failure to thrive, "retarded" (a term that I HATE) and un-adoptable. All the time God was working and asking me to trust. He was graciously providing peace when I doubted the most. He was using so many of you reading to meet every. single. need. that we had.  And, even though I failed to trust completely, our girl is here and all the "What Ifs" had vanished completely.  She is so beautiful and just simply amazing. She is pure joy.

Yes, she is delayed and does have some medical needs, but, she is still so perfect in every way. She is the most loving, joyful, determined, child ever. She is always smiling and laughing. She is incredibly brave and so very strong.

 

 I worried for nothing. Ayla could be diagnosed with a thousand things, never obtain her balance, or never live independently, and I, we, would love her anyways. She is a priceless treasure to us and to our family. She is a gift that God has given us. It is such an honor to be her mom and to be  her family. God has some BIG plans for her, I just know it. She has gained 5 lbs already and has grown a couple inches taller too. She is pulling herself up, standing pretty well, and is taking some shaky steps. She is saying about 5 words spontaneously, babbling like crazy, and we have enough doctor appointments to keep us busy for awhile- which is good. We cannot imagine life without her.  She really just fits right in. She has 5 brothers and sisters loving on her, cheering her on, and teaching her new things, like how to crawl and play, and the most important thing- how to make silly faces. She adores them all.

 

 

 

Saying "thank you" to those that have helped us bring Ayla home does not seem like enough...really it isn't enough. To everyone that has helped us in some way, whether you helped with one or 10 of our fund-raisers, prayed, emailed, called, offered support, listened, shared our story, donated funds or helped with paperwork...it mattered. Everything mattered. You made a difference. You have been a part of something so big - you have been a part of a miracle. Thank you from the very bottoms of our hearts. Ayla would not be home without our God and the love and support of everyone who cared.

 Thank you for blessing us and for being a part of our story. We will never forget your generosity.

Ephesians 3:20

²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

 

Consulate Appointment

 

We had our consulate appointment this morning. All went very well. I do have to say that the new consulate is very secure and very industrial. It seemed much easier to navigate this time vs at the old building....or maybe it is just me.

 

We should be able to pick up Ayla's visa tomorrow afternoon, and then shortly after we can start our trek home.



GZ Zoo

We decided this morning to take a very quick trip to the zoo just so we could get out a bit. Ayla was not impressed, but she was content to sit in the stroller. We were only there an hour or so, but it felt good to get out.