Heartache

This post was a hard one to write. It was hard to hit post for fear that it is just far to personal, and it was also hard because I struggled to get my thoughts together enough to have them make sense. My heart has been so heavy lately and I think that has a lot to do with the fact that  I have been watching my youngest two struggle with what are unfortunately "normal adoption issues". It breaks my heart that they have deal with issues that are the result of a decisioion someone else made ...my children had no say in that decision and the sad reality is that they will carry that forever. Thankfully, their story is a bit different than most, and that is because their birth mothers chose life, --and because my daughter was found. While it is true, having a forever family is a wonderful gift, it does not, however, heal all wounds....

I have been thinking about the day Aliyah was born an awful lot lately. I wish more than anything that I could have been there the moment our sweet girl was born...and it is not just because I would have loved to see her sweet newborn face.

It is because I long to know her birth mother, and father too. I wish more than anything that I could have talked with them...so many things, heavy on my heart, that I wish I could have shared with them. Not hurtful things or words of anger, but words of love, of hope, of encouragement. So many things I pray they know; so many things I want them to know without a doubt... I pray they feel and know a peace that surpasses all of their pain.

I wish that I could have hugged them. Encouraged them. Hoped for them. Prayed for them. I would have done ANYTHING to help them keep their baby girl. I would have offered them money if they were too poor, or food or clothes. If it was her medical needs, I would have done whatever it took to help them meet those needs. If  it was simply because she was a girl- I would have educated them on the beauty of girls and their value...and again, I would have offered them hope for their precious daughter. And if it just wasn't enough, if they had to make the heart wrenching decision, that they simply could not keep her, I would have promised them that I will love and cherish their daughter always...

All of that I would have promised to keep my baby from the pain she feels now. All of that I would have promised to keep a family together...to keep a birth mom from abandoning her baby...to keep a precious child out of an orphanage.

It is sad, really, really sad to think about all of the reasons these treasures are left and abandoned or even killed.

Babies die or are abandoned all over the world because of money.  Because of  physical deformities and medical issues. Because of their gender and policy rules and regulations. Or simply because they are not wanted. Not wanted--- think about that. The sad reality is there are so many reasons these babies suffer and die...and I could go on and on.

All of these things are "man made" ideas. They are evil. Pure evil. And, I am guilty. Guilty of not helping enough. Guilty of not offering more of myself and what I have been blessed with. Guilty of closing my eyes and living in my own little world.

It is written in His word how special we all are, regardless of rules and policies, and money, and  special medical needs.  Or even gender...

Psalm 139:13-14

 

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,I know that full well.

Exodus 4:11

¹¹ The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord?

 

Isaiah 45:9-11

⁹ “Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker,
those who are nothing but potsherds
among the potsherds on the ground.
Does the clay say to the potter,
‘What are you making?’
Does your work say,
‘The potter has no hands’?
¹⁰ Woe to the one who says to a father,
‘What have you begotten?’
or to a mother,
‘What have you brought to birth?’

¹¹ “This is what the Lord says—

the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker:

Concerning things to come,

do you question me about my children,

or give me orders about the work of my hands?

 

1 Corinthians 1:27-29

²⁷ But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸ God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, ²⁹ so that no one may boast before him.

There is no reason for there to be homeless or abandoned children. There is no reason for a child to die simply because of money, or rules, or regulations, or disease, or deformities, or simply because of human desire.

There is no reason a mother should have to put her baby in a box and hope beyond all hope that someone would find her baby.

Mankind has failed. Miserably. We need to step it up. I need to step it up. We need to fight for these sweet children- they are worth it in every way.

.