Well, we finally have all of our paperwork off to Ch*na! This is big step in getting Hope home!! I honestly thought we would never get to this point. This adoption has been the hardest and most challenging so far, for so many reasons. But yet, I have seen God work in some pretty awesome ways already.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared to death when we said, "Yes!" to our darling Hope. Dane's adoption was safe, or as safe as adoptions come. He was in Korea with great medical care and we received a fair amount of background history. He was in a foster family getting loved on and cared for. His needs were minor and correctable...
Aliyah's adoption had a little more risk, but was still incredibly "comfortable" for us. Her needs, to us, were minor. She was thriving and developmentally on target. She came from a wealthier area...all good things, right?
Our little Hope is hanging on, getting sub-optimal treatment. I gave God one hundred and one reason why we could not bring her home. Cried many, many tears. Lost hours of sleep battling this decision. Yet, He kept asking and working and doing what He does best- we could feel it in our hearts and the word "Hope" kept ringing in our ears. I clearly remember Joel asking me late one night,"Do you think she will be OK?" She being Hope. I did not even know what to say. My heart was pounding...I honestly did not know. How in the world do you adopt a child not knowing if they would be okay? How do you adopt a child when every earthly part about you says, "Whoa, what are you doing?!"
I wish I could put it into words...it really would make things so much easier. The peace that came with saying, "Yes!" to Hope was incredible. We knew without a doubt it was right decision.There is tons of risk. Tons of questions. Tons of anxiety and doubt. But it is right...so, so very right.
Sadly, I have never been in position like I am in know...clinging to ever ounce of my faith that God will see us through. If God does not continue to show up and follow thru I do not know what will happen... But, yet, I know this is right where he wants me...He wants us here. Clinging to every ounce of faith, asking Him very single minute to help us... needing Him to show up big time. This is His specialty. And as emotionally exhausted, and worried as I am, all is well. God is at work and it is amazing to be a part of it. It is actually an honor to have front row seats to His power. His faithfulness and His goodness.
So, today we celebrate God's awesomeness! We are so thankful to Him and all who have supported us so far. Today we are one step closer! We have been so blessed! And soon, we will be bringing our precious treasure home.