Spider Cookies & Pumpkin Patch

~Spider Cookies~

~Pumpkin Patch~

We had lots and lots of fun even though it was Dane's nap time!!

Indian Summer at McCoy Lake

A few weeks ago we headed up north to my mom's cabin one last time for the year. Oh, it was so beautiful. The weather was perfect, almost 80 degrees. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. The sun was shining and the trees were stunning. We rode the dirt bikes, went fishing, kayaking, frog hunting and a few brave ones even went swimming. I put my toes in and it was WAY to cold for me. We had  another wonderful day as a family and created some more wonderful memories.

Dane & Daddy in the "boat" as Dane would say.

Alaina kayaking

Fishing with Grandpa

David fishing with Dad

The only catch of the day. David's 10 inch bass!!

Frog hunting

The frogs. We caught 30 total and then let 'em go.

Alivia

Take me in the water Laina?!

Dane and his bucket



Good bye! See you next year!

Update(s)

Well, we finally got an update from China today regarding baby L. It was not a good update at all. The update was very, very vague and stated that her condition is critical and she is no longer available for adoption. China asked the agency to send her file back and to remove her from any waiting child websites...and that's it.

I honestly feel that we were/are supposed to be praying for her, maybe that was our purpose, the reason why our paths had crossed. I don't know. I do know that God is in control and he has a bigger plan for baby L and for us too. We have faith and we are clinging to that. We are sad to hear this news but at the same time God was faithful to us and answered our prayers; we feel a sense of peace. We knew going in to this that it would be hard...

I feel funny posting this after the China update, but here it is anyways.

Dane got his cast off yesterday and....his hand looks amazing!! It has healed very, very well. His doctor is very pleased and very happy. This 2nd surgery went much better than the first. Dane is free to get his hand wet and free to play! No brace or therapy needed. The skin grafts look great!! I was one happy mama when I saw and heard how great his hand looked! Dane seems to be one happy boy now too, well at least for the most part!

Daddy & Dane

There was a time that we honestly thought this would never happen - Dane sitting happily on his Daddy's lap....

And now look

(Yes, his jammies do not match. It is so hard to find a shirt that goes easily over his cast)

And 6 becomes 7? Adopting again and the wait.

I have struggled with posting this because it is so personal, but here it is.

We started our journey to child #5 late this summer. We have decided this time to adopt from China. For so many reasons we decided China was the right choice, but it was a very hard choice to make as Korea holds a very special place in our hearts.

Going into a 2nd adoption we were a little more "realistic" in our expectations. We know all to well that the wait at times is excruciating. Having to depend on others to "get to" your child half way around the world is so incredibly hard. Having to trust others to care for your child while you wait just does not feel fair. Filling out stacks and stacks of paperwork is tiring. But we know, in the end, it is sooo worth it.

Oh, about a month and a half ago we got a call asking us if we had seen the beautiful children waiting for families on our agencies (specific) list.  And we had.

This time around we (Joel and I ) decided that we were going to take our time and not rush around, stay up way too late like crazy people trying to get all of our paperwork done and cram appointments into our already busy schedule.

But,

Her sweet face was on that list. We could not get her out of our  minds. She looked like an old soul, almost like she was too wise for her age.  She is not quite a year old. We knew she had some special needs but we requested her file and had an International Adoption Pediatrician review her file. The news we got was devastating, her prognosis was poor.

But, for some reason we could not "let her go". We prayed for her (and still are), we researched her possible condition(s). We asked the agency if we could get an update on how she is doing now.

And this is where we are at now...waiting....

It has been 5 weeks since we asked for the update and were told that we might not receive one. I just don't understand, I really don't. How does a family interested in a child not get an update?

We really do not know what to do now. We may never hear how she is doing. So, now what?

My nights have been restless, I have been in prayer for her many, many nights. We don't know what to do. Do we step out in faith and say, "yes!"  Do we say we can't parent her and leave "it" with out closure, knowing she might be doing OK? We know she is a prized possession in the eyes of our Heavenly Father, we know she is fearfully and wonderfully made just as God intended her to be. Are we not trusting God enough to step out in faith and say,  "God we know you have us in your hands, let your will be done." Or, are we being realistic and saying , "God, we know our limits and we are not able to parent her knowing the possibility of her condition(s), it is too much for  us."  Are we being selfish??

We have been praying and praying. I have given up a few of my favorite things this past week in hopes that I could have some clarity from God.  Joel woke up at 1 am this morning with her on his mind. I was awake too.

So far this is what I have:

"And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness- secrete riches. I will do this so you will know that I am the Lord your God, the one who calls you by name."

Last night as Joel and I were awake and talking, we kept feeling like we need to step out in faith and trust that God will close the door if it is not what He wants.

 But for us, we don't know- Is the door open or is it closed? Is He saying,  "I won't give you an update because I know your hearts and having to make the choice to parent her or not is too hard for you." Or is he saying, "Have faith!"

So, we wait.....

Her birthday is coming up in about 2 days. Please pray for her (baby L). It just breaks our hearts to think of her in an orphanage and nobody celebrating her, telling her how special she is - it is just another day. We are praying she will know and feel the love she deserves to have. And for now we just pray for her.

No school- Movie day!!

The kids did not have school last week Tuesday. So, I thought I would take them to the movies since the theatre is offering movies where the kids get in free and adults are only $3.50. Dane has never been to the movies and since he has been struggling a bit lately I wasn't sure it was a good idea. But I thought we would give it a try! What's the worst that could happen? We would have to leave? I got a little nervous once we got there- Dane was not very excited. at. all. He was really grumpy but at least he wasn't crying!



not happy...



still not happy...



not happy at all...



But, we still had a great time! Dane sat quietly through the movie. In fact, I think he enjoyed it!!

I know I had a great time!! Laina, David & Livi did too!! Yay for a no school day!!!

Second Hand Surgery

On Sept. 22nd Dane had his 2nd hand surgery. All went very well, even a bit better than the last time - surgery only took 2 1/2 hrs and they only need to do 4 skin grafts vs 6. But... Dane has been struggling big time. We have been through 3 casts and have had a lot of regression with his speech (he was finally starting to make sounds), attachment and have also had a lot of whinny and anxious behavior. I am not sure if he has been having more pain ( hard to tell with a child who can't tell you) or if the 2nd surgery was just too much; he is such a sensitive child. Or maybe it is a combination of both and the change in schedule with school...I just don't know.  So, we have been taking one day at a time and loving him through it.

Poor boy.  Most of our days are like this.