Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Dane's 1st Birthday! Saturday, July 24th

It was Saturday the big day! We had been home only 4 full days. For the past 6 months I desperately wanted my son home so I could share this day with him, but that day was turning out to be awful (and I mean that very lovingly). My husband and I were emotionally spent and physically exhausted. Alaina had been crying on and off because Dane did not like her and Alivia was wondering when he was going back to "Korea's house", she was tired of him crying! Dane was miserable too. He had spent the night before crying for his Omma (foster mom). He was exhausted and crabby from being up all night. I found myself feeling guilty - aren't first birthday's supposed to be happy? I was wishing that Dane could be happy. I almost wished he could be back with his foster mom and family so he could enjoy his special day. Wishing, maybe that we could have brought him home after his birthday. My heart was aching for Dane's foster mom and family and also for his birth mom and family; what were they thinking and feeling, did their hearts ache like mine?
The evening proved to be better. Joel's brother and family had stopped by to bring dinner and a gift for Dane. Somehow that was just what we all needed. I think Dane could sense the tension lifting and he began to smile, I was feeling emotionally recharged. Seeing him smiling and enjoying the kids brought joy to my heart. The older kids were enjoying playing with their cousins too.
After dinner we whispered the Happy Birthday song to him so we would not scare him. I had ordered a cake and it turned out amazing, it was really good too! Dane seemed to really enjoy it after we were able to get him to take a bite. After cake we opened his presents and he really got into that! One of the gifts we had gotten him was a Cozy Coupe car. Oh, how he loved that! He had a great time helping Daddy put it together too! We were really surprised that he tolerated the noise of a pounding hammer, as he is not a fan of loud noises, he even tried to help hammer too!
After Dane had his bath and a few rides in his Cozy Coupe, I was feeling so much better! I felt incredible blessed to be this little boy's mommy. I was indeed blessed to spend this day with him. In fact, it was a honor to spend his 1st birthday with him! I love you sweet Dane, more than words can say!

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"Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you... For I am the Lord your God..
~Isiah 43:1-3