For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. ~Habakkuk 2:3
Oh, how I dislike, I mean really dislike this whole waiting thing in adoption. It seriously is the hardest part of the process. And for me, it is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. My daughter is thousands of miles away in China and I have to wait and wait and wait to hold her in my arms...
Although I really do not like the waiting I am reminded every single day how good God is to me even in the midst of all this. Some days I am too caught up in my own self pity to realize how He has blessed me.
Last week my oldest daughter made the news. She has been working so hard on her "Hats of Love" fundraiser and our local news station decided they would like to share her story during their "Pay it Forward" segment. At first I did not want her story to air, for many reasons. After we prayed about it we decided we would. I am amazed at how her story has spread and really amazed at how many people have listened to her story - she is planting many seeds and sharing about the joys of adoption . God is using her to do great things. We have not generated a lot of hat sales, but that is not the point. God is using it it for His glory and that is all that counts.
We have seen God move the financial mountains the past several months. We started out needing about $25,000 and now we are down to $8000. God is teaching us to trust. This is really hard for me to grasp. I have, for the past several years, trusted God completely. But somehow I trust God more now than I did when we started this whole journey in July. As much as I do not want to say this, I think it is because we have had to wait for so many things. So many things have been out of our control and we have had no choice but to trust that God will make it happen. Of course God pulled through. Sometimes not like we thought but He did!
We have also "met" so many amazing people and so many great families. Yes, it is true, most of them we have never met in person, but I am very proud to call them my friends. I do not know what I would do without some of these friends. They are a great support and encouragement. They are my prayer warriors. They understand when most do not. Again God is blessing me during the wait.
Do you see the trend? He is blessing and teaching us by allowing us to wait. Just think if we did not have to wait, how many would have heard Alaina's story? He is blessing us by providing for us financially while we wait. He is faithfully providing every penny we need. We never have too much and we always have what we need-- He is building our trust in Him. We are meeting amazing friends while we wait. Without this wait we would not have the friends that we do. To think about not having some of the friends that I do makes me really, really sad. They have prayed for me, laughed with me, cried with me, encouraged me, supported me and my family...they have been the physical heart and body of Jesus. I am so very blessed to call them my friends.
Don't get me wrong there are days where I really do not like to hear the words, "It's all in His time". And there are many, many days where I do not understand why we have to wait, especially when I selfishly feel like I have gotten all I need to out of waiting. Not to mention the days where I just flat out do not want to wait anymore. But it is not about me-- it is about bringing glory to God no matter what the cost.
34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 35 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.~ Mark 8: 34-35
Thank you God for blessing me while I wait upon your perfect timing. I know that I fall so short sometimes-- thank you for loving me through it all.